My Abstinence Challenge: 6 Weeks
This semester I am taking a class for graduate school called “Addictions Counseling: Substance Use Disorder & Treatment.” It is my favorite class this semester as I am deeply passionate about the complex journey of navigating addiction from both personal and professional lenses. One of the class assignments is to pick something to be abstinent from for 6 weeks and journal daily on your experience. As therapists, it is essential we understand and have empathy for the difficult experience of practicing abstinence.
I initially had a hard time figuring out what to abstain from. I don’t drink alcohol, do drugs or drink coffee/caffeine and imagine these are the natural choices for many people. I don’t play video games, watch TV or even own a TV. I have a history of an eating disorder and through my years of recovery, I am careful not to abstain from specific food groups as this can be a slippery slope for me. As I started to ask myself what I wanted to abstain from, I began to think about what time of day I feel most vulnerable and impacted by addictive behaviors. This time of day is in the evening as I try to prepare for sleep, I am very sensitive to stimulation and often times will be kept up at night by the conversations, media, and food I take in if it is too close to bedtime. I can sometimes self-sabotage my sleep and in turn, next morning’s endurance effort if I eat or interact with my phone too close to bedtime. In turn, I decided to get very specific with my abstinence and challenge myself to not eat from 8pm-5am and not open Instagram (the only social media I have) from 8pm-7am. As I recently returned to Instagram after an almost year hiatus, have gotten into a habit of checking my Instagram first thing after I wake up. I recognize this feels unhealthy for me as the morning hours are a sacred time to tune into my own body, mind and spirit and by looking at Instagram, I am tuning into the outside world.
I am currently halfway through my abstinence challenge and it has been an interesting experience thus far. On one hand, I found that being off Instagram from 8pm-7am has felt liberating to unplug and set boundaries. On the other hand, it has been more challenging to abstain from food in the evening as I often times crave sweet treats and the call to the chocolate drawer is strong! It has been a powerful experience to look closer at my current relationship with food and observe the complexities of it. I often times find I desire the flavor, release, distraction, comfort, and/or the numbing that can come with food. It amazes me how food can mean and represent so many things at once. I also have observed the pattern that when I feel emotionally and spiritually nourished from my day, I don’t crave sweets later in the evening. This process of journaling on my abstinence has helped hold me accountable and help me review my internal and external patterns more closely. This practice of abstinence has been a radical, personal, and challenging process of growing compassion for myself and others. I look forward to the continued lessons and exploration that these final three weeks of the abstinence challenge bring.
Have you ever practiced abstinence from something or currently are? What have you learned about yourself in the process? Please feel free to share your experience in a comment below.
Thank you for being here and sharing!
